Is Marijuana a Gateway Drug?

1) “Do I know someone who has tried Marijuana (the Gateway Drug)?”
If yes, move to question 2.
If no, you should get out more. Over 70 million people in the United States have tried marijuana.

2) “Is this person now addicted to heroin, methamphetamine or cocaine?”
If no, then marijuana is not a gateway drug.
If yes, move to question 3.

3) “Does this person also smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol?”
If no, move to question 5.
If yes, move to the next question.

4) “Did this person begin smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol prior to their marijuana use?”
If yes, then marijuana is not a gateway drug. Alcohol and/or cigarettes are gateway drugs.
If no, move to question 5.

5) “Was this person raised by both parents?”
If no, then marijuana is not a gateway drug. Lack of parental oversight and/or broken families are a gateway drug.
If yes, move to question 6.

6) “Did either of this person’s parents abuse them in any way?”
If yes, then marijuana is not a gateway drug. Abusive parents are a gateway drug.
If no, move to question 7.

7) “Does this person have a creepy uncle?”
If yes, then marijuana is not a gateway drug. Molesting uncles are a gateway drug.
If no, move to question 8.

8) “Did this person’s parents take an active role in raising this person?”
If no, then marijuana is not a gateway drug. Bad parenting is a gateway drug.
If yes, you are lying.

9) Was this person used marijuana detox pills to cheat the drug test?

If yes, then he did it very well.